Let’s talk about the endless swipe fest that is online dating. At first, you’re all excited, right? You’ve got your profile set up, the lighting in your pictures is just right, and you’re thinking, “This is it. I’m finally going to meet someone.” It’s thrilling, like shopping for love on Amazon—just swipe left for ‘no,’ swipe right for ‘yes,’ and bam, the perfect match will be delivered to your door… except without the guaranteed two-day shipping.

But somewhere between your 200th swipe and 15th conversation that ends with “I’m just looking for something casual,” the excitement fades. That’s when swiping fatigue sets in. You go from thinking, “Who’s my next great match?” to, “Why does every guy here say he’s ‘looking for something long-term’ and then asks for my Snapchat?”

The Reality of Swiping: Profiles vs. Reality

It started off fun, let me tell you. Swiping through profiles of men who (at least on paper) seemed like they had their lives together. “Oh look, this one’s into hiking and enjoys long walks on the beach,” I’d think to myself. Except in reality, the only thing they were committed to hiking was the length of our conversations before disappearing. Or worse, they’d say, “I’m looking for something serious,” but their idea of serious was sending a ‘you up?’ text at 11 PM.

I matched with one guy who was in his 50s, and his profile was full of buzzwords like “settled,” “seeking a life partner,” and “ready for love.” Great, right? Wrong. We met for dinner, and things were going well until the bill arrived. He looked at me, smiled, and said, “Well, this is awkward.” Awkward? You’re in your 50s, dude! At your age, you should know that awkward is that time in middle school when you had braces, not when the dinner bill arrives. He stared at me, waiting for me to grab my wallet. You know that long, uncomfortable stare, like we were about to negotiate a hostage situation? Look, I’m totally fine with going Dutch, but the way he handled it made it feel like we were trying to solve world peace. At his age, I expected a little more finesse. I’m sitting there thinking, “Seriously? You’ve had five decades to figure out how to handle a bill, and this is where we are?” It was a “hell no” moment—not about the money, but about how painfully awkward he made it.

That’s the thing about dating in this age bracket. These men want you to be the full package—smart, independent, attractive—but apparently, they think they’re living in some kind of eternal bachelor daydream where they get all the benefits of being with a mature woman but never actually have to put in the effort.

The Swiping Fatigue Epidemic: When Fun Becomes Exhaustion

And it doesn’t end there. Let’s talk about the moment when you realize that the “thrill of the chase” has turned into the digital version of running on a treadmill—lots of movement, but you’re going absolutely nowhere. After a few months of swiping, my optimism started to take a nosedive. I’d swipe on guys who seemed genuinely nice, but they all wanted one thing—fun. Their profiles claimed they were looking for long-term relationships, but apparently “long-term” meant the length of one weekend.

I had one guy tell me he was “really serious” about finding someone. And then, after a few dates, he ghosted me. It’s like they’re serious until they remember Netflix has a new season of something they need to binge. Every time I’d swipe on someone who seemed worth it, it would turn out they were only in it for the short haul, or worse—they were looking for someone who would “understand their busy schedule” (translation: “I’m going to disappear for weeks at a time and pop back up like nothing happened”).

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the app, thinking, “Okay, this is going to be fun!” only to feel like I was playing a game of Where’s My Soulmate: swiping endlessly, hoping to find someone who isn’t just looking for a fling.

When the Age Doesn’t Equal Maturity

One guy I matched with seemed great—on paper, of course. He had his life together, was looking for something “serious,” and even shared some deep thoughts about life in his bio. We go on a few dates, and I think, “This could be good.” Then, out of nowhere, he tells me he’s going on vacation and will “reach out when he’s back.” Spoiler alert: He never came back… to the conversation, at least.

It’s like they think dating is a revolving door, and they can just hop in and out whenever it suits them. And the kicker? Some are men who have grandkids! You’d think a man who’s been married, had a career, and raised kids would have some level of emotional intelligence, but nope! Instead, it’s a game of “I’m not really sure what I want, but I’ll figure it out as I go.”

The “Hell No” Moment: When You’ve Had Enough

Let’s get real for a second. You would think dating men in their 50s means maturity, right? Nope. I’ve met guys in their 50s who acted like they were 25, but not in the fun, let’s-go-party kind of way. It’s more like the, “I’m still figuring things out” kind of way. Figuring things out?! Dude, you’re in your 50s! The time to “figure things out” was when you realized you couldn’t survive on ramen noodles and instant coffee anymore.

Now let’s talk about the moment when you officially hit swiping fatigue. For me, it came when I realized I was attracting men who couldn’t commit to anything, including the check at dinner. It was after my “awkward bill” date that I had the ultimate “hell no” moment. I thought, “If this is what dating in your 50s looks like, I’m out!” I’m not saying I expect a man to pay for everything, but if you’re in your 50s and you’re still not sure who’s supposed to pick up the bill, that’s a red flag waving loud and clear.

That’s when the frustration really set in. Men in this age bracket want a woman who has her life together. They want you to be successful, confident, smart—and, of course, you better look fabulous while doing it. But ask them to open their wallet or emotionally invest in a relationship, and suddenly it’s like you’ve asked them to solve quantum physics. “I’m not sure what we should do here,” they’ll say, staring at the check like it’s some ancient artifact they’ve never seen before. No, thank you!

How to Survive Swiping Fatigue

So, what do you do when you hit the point of swiping fatigue? Well, first, you take a break. Seriously, delete the app, step away, and remember what life is like when you’re not judging people based on a three-sentence bio. Go out with friends, binge-watch a new show, or get back into that hobby you’ve been neglecting. Take some time for you.

Second, lower your expectations—not for the quality of men you’ll meet, but for how much you expect from the process. If you go into every match thinking, “This could be the one,” you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, think of each match as an opportunity for a fun conversation, maybe a drink, and see where it goes. And if they turn out to be one of those “I’m figuring things out” types? Well, at least you got a story out of it!

Lastly, remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. Just because you matched doesn’t mean you need to engage in endless conversations with someone who’s clearly not right for you. Trust your instincts and don’t waste your energy on people who can’t match your level of commitment. And if you ever get that “awkward moment” stare when the bill arrives? Run. Fast.

Final Thoughts

Swiping fatigue is real, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your dating journey. The key is to take things less seriously, set boundaries, and don’t let the endless swiping drain your energy. And remember—if a man’s over 50 and still hasn’t figured out how to handle the check, you can bet he hasn’t figured out how to handle a relationship either. And honey, you deserve better than that.

So, swipe away, but don’t forget to laugh at the ridiculousness along the way. Because dating in your 40’s and 50s? It’s a rollercoaster. But at least it’s never boring.